At around 7 – 8 moths of sleep deprivation my anxiety and insomnia were at an all-time high. I was emotional, short tempered and constantly on high alert.
When Tommy would peacefully sleep, I would lie awake anticipating his next cry or need and as the clock ticked and time passed my mind would convince me there was no point sleeping as any minute he would disturb.
At this time, he was no longer needing any milk during the night, most of his wake ups were dummy related. He wasn’t able to move around his cot, find them and get them back in on his own so that’s where we came in… MULTIPLE times a night every night. As soon as he had it back in he would happily drift straight back off. I on the other hand did not (even when my husband did the dummy run I’d still be disturbed due to sleeping so lightly). In addition to this I found myself often pulling the car over when driving to pick dropped dummies up and put them back in. This was all adding to my anxiety and was a distraction whilst driving. Not to mention having to remember to pack multiple dummies and then keep cleaning them when they inevitably ended up on the floor.
I’d seen a few bits online about going cold turkey with dummies and although it sounded quite daunting, I was intrigued so did a lot of reading and found myself in forums like Mums Net etc. I knew that I’d have to ‘ditch the dummies’ at some point and thought that I’d fancy my chances much more taking on a 7 month old protestor who couldn’t yet stand in his cot than a 2 year old protester, this solidified it for me.
My Husband and I spoke about it and made sure we were on the same page (this is a big factor if there are two of you) I knew I’d have moments when I’d consider giving in and would need back up – which did happen.
So, we knew we were going for it but it took some time to bite the bullet and actually do it. One day I was in the car driving home and without much fuss Tommy fell asleep without his dummy, I caught sight of him in the mirror and couldn’t believe it, this was the proof I needed that he COULD do it. I saw my opportunity, got home and threw the dummies away! I didn’t want them close for two reasons 1) in case I gave in and 2) in case he saw them resulting in having to say no or start again etc. A lot of online tips suggested taking them away for the first time ahead of a night-time sleep as sleep pressure is higher - this is what I’d have done if it wasn’t for the surprise car nap.
I knew it wasn’t going to be easy so accepted that all naps may need to be motion naps for a while to aid him drifting off and had to accept we had some disrupted nights ahead too, but they were all disturbed anyway so it made sense to give it a good go. I also focused on the fact that once we had made a start and he’d been upset wanting his dummy then if I was to give in that upset would have been for nothing and would also confuse him as to why he could have it sometimes and other times not. I’d say channelling this thought process was what kept me going.
Another tip (if your baby is old enough) is to replace the dummy with a different comforter, like a small soft teddy etc. We introduced this a few weeks prior to cold turkey so there was an overlap. This really did help as it occupied his hands while he was settling.
I was nervous when it came to the first night-time sleep, we did the evening bath routine and made sure to do all the things that signalled bedtime, made his room dark and gave him his bottle in his bedroom as usual. His bottle always made him sleepy so we would feed/wind and then lie him down. I was happy to do whatever he needed to help him settle without dummy so I implemented a firm bum pat, I would stay with him doing this pat (that actually made him rock a bit too) until he drifted.
I went to bed that first night knowing it was only a matter of time before he woke looking for the dummy. He did!!... I went in and stood over his cot and did the bum pat again until he was back asleep. This was the tactic, occasionally we would add in a ‘shuuuushhh’ sometimes it took minutes for him to settle and go back to sleep and other times it could be 45+ minutes but I knew it had to be done and I didn’t want to leave him to cry as knew it was a transition process and he had lost something he’d been relying on for sleep.
It didn’t take long until I noticed he was linking some sleep cycles together on his own without any support needed, this was AMAZING progress. Over the course of the next few nights/weeks sometimes he needed the ‘bum pat shush’ technique or motion naps and other times he was managing big chucks without.
If he had any daytime naps in his cot and woke too soon/upset I’d go in and do the ‘bum pat shush’ for about 10 mins. Sometimes he would resettle for another chunk and other times I knew I was fighting a losing battle so would get him up and carry on with our day. I just want to mention here that often a bad nap or short nap would really rile me up and make me overthink the rest of the day, the main time I felt the rage was always sleep related so if this is you, you aren’t alone – it’s tough and testing.
The hardest part was obviously seeing him upset and his little mouth searching for the dummy, but we stayed with him and supported him to sleep in other ways and I’d say by day 4 things were much easier. We still had some disturbances for the days/nights that followed as he was then wanting the ‘bum pat shush’ to help link sleep but as the nights went on this got faster and less and we’ve never needed dummies again.
I know all babies and circumstances are difference and your child using a dummy might have no downsides or no need to make a change which is great but if you’re reading this and wanting to get rid of them my advice would be go for it, I will certainly do it again whenever I go on to have another baby and possibly earlier than 8 months.
Tips:
Make sure you, you partner and any other care givers are in agreement with the approach
Throw the dummies away so you aren’t temped to get them once you’ve committed
Support sleep in other ways initially with rocking, patting etc (highly recommend the ‘Bum Pat Shush’ technique.
Introduce a comforter prior to removing dummies
You may find motion naps (car, carrier, pram) easier for a while that trying the cot etc.
The above is all based on my experience of almost 8months old, if you child is older and has a better level of understanding then a different approach may suit best
Comentários